Friday, 29 January 2016

OOTD#1/Get me some panadol quick/face my fear friday

So I started this blog a couple of months ago and then we moved house. Normally that would suggest a short absence but not for me. I moved into my new house in october...and we got internet yesterday. Honestly going without the internet was kind of cathartic and in the end we only got it because my boyfriend needs it for college.

So, I'm back!

Not that I had that much of a following (or any!) but I'm feeling amped up and excited about this!

So when I started the blog I decided to call it "My next great adventure" because that's the kind of person I am, always looking for a new adventure, always looking ahead, but I had no idea how appropriate the title would become.

In the last couple of months I have really started to get involved in the wonderful movement that has been happening worldwide for a while now. This movement for me, is one of the most important in my everyday life, This movement is the reason I am posting these pictures and believe me, I am terrified,

The body positivity movement has changed my life.

This is not an exaggeration.

I have spent my life hiding this body that has drawn such negative attention. I have spent my life making myself seem smaller, shorter, more invisible and I became great at being invisible,

Except for the haters of course....they all have eyes like Moody and can see right through my invisibility cloak!

This movement has made me stand up straight, puff out my chest and proclaim, "I am here, I am sexy, and nothing you can say will change that fact". Calling the sky green will not make it so.

Two and a half years ago the best thing in my life happened, I met my incredible, handsome, intelligent boyfriend. He changed everything for me. I wasn't alone against this world anymore. I was noticed. He saw me when I was still hiding and he fought hard for me despite my throwing up road blocks at every damn turn. At first I felt a little ashamed however...was I really that woman? The woman who needed a man to validate me? I struggled with this for a while before I realised something. I had found something within me that I could take with me anywhere. He had given me something more valuable than anything I owned. Whether the relationship lasted or not he had done something wonderful, and does to this day. He had loved me. He's not the most verbal man but by god can I count on him. I am certain of two things: I am extremely lucky to have fallen in love with my best friend and that my best friend had fallen in love with me. He loves me blindly, and without doubt and it shook my ideas about myself.

Society had told me, exes had told me, my family had told me that unless I lost weight I would never have what I have. And then Paul came along and he just loved me. That was it. No if's, no doubts, no judgement (about anything) and I started to wonder if maybe everyone was wrong. However I still felt that he was just one in a million who saw me that way.

My insecurities tried to pull me down but I changed. I started to fight them instead of giving in and it brought me to a rather healthy place. A year ago I joined instagram to post some photos I'd taken and I got a good response to my work. I started to get a bit jaded with it after a while. I would post something, get a few likes. That was it. And then I found some incredible accounts. I believe wholly in the notion that all bodies are good bodies but I will admit what first drew me in were pictures of big girls KILLING IT! here were people like me who had hundreds of followers, thousands of followers, who were living their lives their way and looking incredible doing it. Girls who were edgy and fashion forward. All my life my options had been limited. Living in waterford my options were penneys (primark) or mens shops essentially. I was/am a tomboy, which delighted my mother, she could hide my oversized frame under big t shirts and baggy jumpers. I hid in them happily but when I wanted to start wearing fashionable things I hit a block. I couldn't find anything remotely edgy and my style is definitely more spikes and studs than flowers and roses (although I do indulge now and then!;p) and they just didn't have that in big sizes. I felt left out. I felt under confident. I felt angry. I felt all the things, but here were girls who were just wearing what they wanted.

Doing what they wanted. Doing what I wanted.

I discovered online shopping (asos is my god) and thrift stores. I love vintage and vintage loves me. I can rock a good vintage number and found the sizes were more forgiving. Also I had an eye for beautiful things that might have needed a little revamping and finally I had something to play with.

I was still to scared and critical to post anything though and I hovered around the edges of the bopo community wishing I could do what they did. But such a positive vibe is hard to escape and in the last few months I have been dragged (happily) into the mindset. I have spent my life looking for an accepting community that wanted nothing but myself from me because in recent months I have firmly started telling everyone who'll listen that I am awesome! ;p

I honestly didn't mean for this to turn into a big splurge but word vom is hard to stop! But all of this explanation leads up to what I'm posting today.

Firstly the panadol thing to There it's explained!:)

Secondly and most importantly my very first Outfit of the day post. And Face my Fears Friday.

All wrapped up in one lovely, thrifty, vintage outfit.

I woke up hungover this morning realising I had forgotten to dry my jeans. :(

I stood there slapping on a bit of lippy wondering what the hell I was going to wear when a colourful piece of cloth caught my eye. I bought this dress three weeks ago in a charity (thrift) shop for €5 and forgot to even try it on. I grabbed some tights and threw it on. It fit lovely, except for the, ahem, girls, who were a little squished but I can live with that. I chopped out the shoulder pads (for those real vintage girls I apologise but I have broad shoulders..I am not adding to them) altered the sleeves a little and away we went.

 And I feel Fierce today. And I feel Fierce in these pictures but I'm also terrified. I am facing my fears. Some of the parts of my body that I have hidden all my life. My Legs. My Arms.

 I looked at them and couldn't love them no matter what. If you had told me two months ago I'd be posting and OOTD that featured both my arms, and my legs I would have laughed. And yet here we are, my first one ever and I'm doing it.

 I have never worn a dress without tights, ever, even when I lived in spain. And I have never gone out the door without a cover up for my arms. To the detriment of outfits. I just couldn't. I am not sure I am there yet either but photos that I approve of are a start.

 Now a bit about the outfit, most of what I'm wearing is thrifted. The dress was bought as I said for €5 and the cardigan was thrifted for €3. The shoes however are from asos and I adore them!

 Look at me showing leg...ooh la la...can you say that to yourself??Oh well! Anyway the shoes were on sale on asos and they are ASOS Soda pointed heels. They are one of my favourite colours and are also a little different and edgy and I adore them. They are very comfy and a reasonable sized heel. They are also currently on sale for about €12! Link at the bottom!
 I would also like to ask you to excuse the middle parting in this picture...many girls can rock it but I a not one of them!

So thats about it for my first ever OOTD and I am feeling proud as punch!

I hope ye enjoy it I certainly enjoyed doing it!

Have a good one!

Link for the Shoes: